Chapter Sixty Three - First Time Nerves?

I wake up to find myself still in Ade’s arms and still fully clothed. The room is still and quiet, and as strange as it is, I subconsciously know it’s the early hours of the morning. I look up at his face as he sleeps. His muscles are relaxed and his mouth slightly open. He looks so vulnerable and I’m cherishing this intimate moment with him. I twist in his arms and check his watch - 2.48am. I was right. Early hours. My fidgeting has woken him and when I feel his hot breath at the back of my ear it shoots goosepimples straight across my chest.
“Hmmmm,“ he moans, “you feel lovely.“
It feels so natural with him. I know it’s a cliche, but I know this is right. I can’t help but remind myself that it would never have worked with Rob anyway - a relationship coming from a friendship would mean that we know each other on a different level; and then there will always be the Tamsin connection. It’s potentially too messy, whereas with Ade, we both have similar careers and understand the vagaries of working in the magazine industry. He’s quirky - my ideal man. Strong and opinionated, yet professional and in tune with his feminine side. We could be a fabulous couple - both journalists and both striving forward for a lucrative future. My thoughts are interrupted as he moves in to kiss me. His tongue is slightly jabbing again as he starts to part my lips with his. It’s a strange feeling - almost as if he’s in a hurry - but this could be a match made in heaven. The kissing just needs a little work. He groans a little as he kisses my neck and says,
“Sophie Regan. I so want to make love to you. And then I want to fuck you. And then I want to make love to you again.“
My tummy flips, causing a twinge between my legs and a fast pulse in the side of my neck. He gently but firmly pushes me onto my front and I turn my head to the side so as to not suffocate in the plump pillow.
“Are you OK? A little tense?”
I giggle.
“Come on,” his voice is a husky moan, “I’m going to give you a back rub.”
And with that he is pulling my top up to reveal my back and I fidget as it gets caught and tangled. As I raise myself a little he whips my top up and over my head and arms, leaving me laying there in my bra. His hands are firm on my back as he begins to make random sweeping movements across my shoulders.
“I’m going to open your bra strap. It’s in the way.”
And I feel the weight of him, sitting across my bum, as he fiddles with my bra strap. An absurd amount of time passes and I’m increasingly embarrassed for him as he fumbles for way too long.
“Ohhh,” he moans, and I can hear the humiliation in his voice, “I can’t open these things. Can I rip it?”
“No!” I shriek, “here, I’ll do it.” And I find myself reaching back and opening my own bra strap.
The back rub is a little clumsy and far from relaxing and so I am relieved and disappointed when he stops and rolls off of me, to lay beside me once again.
“OK, now you do me. Please?”
“OK.”
He makes no attempt to grope for my bare breasts or even to look at me, semi-naked on the bed with him.
Rolling onto his stomach he buries his face into the pillow and waits for me to return the back-rub favour.
“Dig your nails in,” he orders. “Really hard. Really dig them in and scratch me.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Yes you can. I love it.”
“But I don’t wanna HURT you!”
“It won’t. Just do it.”
And so, feeling rather ridiculous, wearing my jeans and nothing else, I straddle his back and begin to scratch him from shoulder blades to waist. The red track lines appear instantly and I’m not feeling great about this. I can only do this for a short while and before long I lay my nakedness down onto his back and hug him.
“I can’t do that any more. Your back is so red. I don’t like it.”
“OK,” he slightly grumbles and turns himself over beneath me, grabbing my hips and pulling me high over him so that my right boob is dangling near to his face.
He takes it in his mouth.
Once again I wait for the zinging pings of excitement to zip through me.
They don’t.
I look down at him, his eyes closed as he sucks and licks on my nipple.
It’s bordering on breastfeeding.
My face is ridiculously close to the headboard and I’m staring at it at close range.
Bored.
And I’m feeling zilch.
Freaky.
What IS wrong with me?
Thankfully he stops after a short while and rolls me down and onto my back so that he is now towering over me and smiling. He is so gorgeous and the fact that he is a little clumsy and awkward is strangely endearing - as if he’s not this ‘super-stud’ who lives up to his ‘Ade Gets Laid’ image. He comes down to kiss me again and I can feel ‘him’ hard and bulging as he pushes down on me.
“Sorry,” he whispers as he licks and sucks my neck, “I’m a little out of practice.”
“S’ok,” I murmur, “you’re lovely.”
And I mean it.
And his kisses on my neck and across my chest become more frantic and needy and I feel myself panting and wanting to hold him so close to me. He raises my legs up onto his shoulders and then I feel him unbuttoning my jeans and grasping them tightly by my belt. I squeak in a little protestation as he tugs them and in one movement pulls my jeans and g-string from my legs.
“My god Ade,” I whisper, “I’m completely naked now.”
“Yeah,” he grins, a wicked twinkle in his eye, “I know.”
“We can’t do this. It’s not right. Not so quick.”
“Course we can. You feel so good. I’m nuts about you.” And then he lowers himself down onto me again and kisses me, those tongue-jabby movements not improving.
I can feel his exposed flesh on the insides of my thigh and I feel a slight panic.
“Ade. No. We can’t do this. This isn’t right.“
And he hushes me with some more kisses and before I know it I can feel him inside of me!
It feels strange.
It’s been so long since I’ve been this close to a guy, but I know for a fact that I’ve never felt a dick so skinny!
I’m aware that I’m clenching my muscles ‘down there’ but it has little effect.
This is horrendous!
I look up at him, frowning and pumping and we hold the eye contact as he smiles at me and then lowers himself to kiss me once again.
But I’m just not feeling this moment.
It’s not worth it.
I didn’t really want it.
But isn’t the first time ALWAYS awkward?
And wasn’t it inevitable that I was going to be a little disappointed? After all, I’ve fancied him so much and for so long, wasn’t I destined to be disappointed? Be realistic, it’s never like it is in the movies, is it!

*

He gives up shortly after, probably realising that there was going to be no wave-crashing, earth-shattering resolution to this. So he lays beside me, his glorious tanned and hairy chest rising and falling rapidly as he begins to regulate his breathing.
I rest my head on his chest, slowly twirling my finger around his nipple, watching it pucker and tighten. His hands feel tender, stroking my hair lovingly and then he says,
“You got any toys?“
“Yeah,“ I grin to myself, “I have a little red car and a Barbie doll - but I don’t get to play with them much.“
He doesn’t laugh, but carries on with,
“I could use them on you. Bring them around next time we’re together and I’ll play with you with them.“
“Yeah,“ I smile to myself, contentedly, “I’ll do that.“
Then he pulls me up to face him, kisses me slowly and I fall asleep once again to the feeling of him gently stroking my face and hair....

*

We wake again and the mood in the room is different. I can hear the wood pigeons ‘coo coooo, coo coooo’ing’ outside and the sound of slightly increased traffic flow. I’ve turned in my sleep and have my back to him, my knees tucked up and almost in the foetal position. He wakes me with his hands on my bare bum, squeezing it and rubbing it sensually,
“Hmmmmm, this gives me an idea of what I could do to you later on.”
I straighten my legs and turn to face him,
“I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”
He hugs me tight and closes his eyes, “No.”
“I have to.”
“No. You’re not going anywhere.”
I laugh and try to wriggle away, “Ade! I have to go.”
“Nope.”
“Ade?”
His eyes are clamped shut and he is hugging me so tightly that I can’t get away.
“Nope. You’re not going anywhere. I’m keeping you here with me forever.”
But I manage to tickle him into submission and make my bare-arsed exit for the bathroom.
I return to the bed to find that he’s ready for some more of me and am disappointed to find that his technique is no better the second time around.
He is sexually clumsy and rather immature, which shocks me, given his iconic Geezer magazine status. But I really like him and I’m looking forward to spending more time with him, doing all the things that he’s suggested - like going for meals to his favourite Chinese restaurant, chilling out at his place, playing with my sex toys and really getting to know each other. The sex stuff? We can work on that. His severe lack of fineries is something that I can educate him on.
Ade Ford, despite his lack of sexual prowess, could actually make me consider shelving the entire notion of staying single for another 14 weeks. I mean, if I’ve found what I’m looking for - if I have a man that is ticking (virtually) all the boxes, then why jeopardise that for the sake of a stupid magazine column?

Chapter Sixty Two
Chapter Sixty Four