Monday, June 18, 2007

Chapter Forty Four - Full of IF's and BUTT's

The reality check of writing this week’s Relationship Rehab has shaken me. I’ve continued to read up on reasons WHY I’m choosing to stay single, mostly due to the fact that, in the light of Tamsin and Ade, I feel perpetually sick and disappointed. I found a website, which is stuffed with advice on how to stay single and be genuinely happy. It discusses how, rather to look for a soul mate, it’s more about having a healthy soul, to enjoy your relationship with yourself and to enjoy being with YOU. It suggests I should getting some good sleep, surround myself with a stable of close friends and to enjoy my work.
Not easy when my work IS all about an effort to try and enjoy my singleton life and ‘being happy’ in my skin. It would all be so much easier IF.
IF Ade wasn’t still dating Tamsin,
IF Jennifer wasn’t living with me and outrageously flirting with Rob every time he calls around,
IF Delaney wasn’t insisting on pushing me into the media spotlight,
IF my mother wasn’t getting married in a few weeks time,
IF I wasn’t suffering from Winter Blues
IF I wasn’t asking myself some serious questions about how I feel about Rob.


Jennifer had initially said that publicising my ‘inadequacy’ wouldn’t help me find a decent man. Well, perhaps she was right. It’s helped me to attract a legion of male admirers and more male attention than I could shake a bottle of Viagra at, but I’m not sure how many are DECENT men. I caught Jen playing with my laptop last night and she was so animated and excited by the emails and messages that I’ve been sent and she’s already signed up to MSN and is twitching at the webcam, just dying to kick off some interaction with these strangers. I couldn’t help but notice that she’d gone into the bedroom and re-emerged with a startling low-cut t-shirt and some rather hot-chick red lipstick. I pretended to ignore her as I stared at Big Brother, but I was really watching from the corner of my eye as I scrutinised her wiggling in her seat and pouting towards the web cam and she giggled and played with her hair.
Ridiculous as it sounds, I felt like a gooseberry, so I made my excuses and went to bed.
I can only begin to imagine what she got up to in front of the camera after I’d gone.
But I’m going to click the ‘History’ icon when I get in from work and have a look at her MSN ‘friends’ and then I’ll have an idea what she’s doing and with who. After all, I need to check that she’s signing in as her and not me!


It had been nearly a month since Ade began dating Tam and he still kicked himself for his lack of courage. He was lying in his bed waiting for her to return from the bathroom. She was in a sexy mood and he took a deep breath as he listened to her tinkering in the bathroom with her toothbrush and perfume. Despite the fact that he was feeling particularly horny he knew that didn’t want to BE with Tamsin. But he wasn’t really sure how to tell her. She was a nice girl and pretty good in bed - if a little shy and unadventurous - he’d much rather be with a woman who wasn’t afraid of her body. He felt like shit, knowing how lousy he was being by hanging her on a thread, but he tried to stay positive by continuing to live in the hope that he’d patch things up with Sophie and that everything would fall into place. In the meantime, he could feel Tamsin falling for him. She’d begun to whimper and whisper the ‘L’ word during sex and there was nothing LIKE that word to swiftly made Ade lose his erection. It was those times that he really had to imagine that he was with Sophie. That bought it back quickly enough. But he knew that IF Tam had any inkling that he still had lusty thoughts about Sophie, he’d be alone again. As the thoughts of that shocked him into reality, he heard Tamsin close the bathroom door and he turned his head to watch her. As the streetlight shone in through the landing window he felt a slight twinge beneath the covers as he looked at her firm and rounded butt. Now THAT coupled with thoughts of Sophie were a dead cert for a promising night....

Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Forty Five

No comments: