Chapter 36 - The Cluck Of The Irish

I don´t know how I´d get through these singles nights without the Irish contingency! Let me try and explain how awful this singles holiday is.... Imagine every possible reality TV show you can... Think ´The Villa´ coupled with ´Big Brother´and add a little ´Jodie Marsh Wants To Get Married To Some Rich Guy That She´s Only Just Met´- and you get the idea. And last night the ultimate sin. I was called a ´cracking bird´! Remember that? Danny-the-chav-Mullins called me that right back at the beginning! And then I got "you up for some action babe, cos I got free munfs of fukkin to catch up on!" Yes, dire. Anyway I wandered from the cattle market and headed for the Irish bars - Mulligans, Molly Malones, Finnegans and loads of others, and felt instantly at home. You know what you´re getting with the Irish - too much drink, lots of laughs and no pretence - the most down-to-earth crowd and for the first time since I moved to London, I really missed home. Anyway, I got into a hen party of women from Waterford and we had such a laugh. They didn´t give a damn what anybody thought of them, from the waiters, to the guys, from the overweight tourists right down to the snooty 60-something couples. And today I´ve been nursing a mother of a headache. But it was worth it - I needed to let off some steam.

It´s kind of nice, but weird recovering from a hangover by the pool and shade is essential! I´ve been trying to muster up what to write for Relationship Rehab tomorrow but it´s hard with Michael Buble crooning in the background and making me feel sad. I´m melancholy and lonely and realise that as much as I want to stay single, simply to keep myself away from destructive men, I´m also desperate for some intimacy too. In EVERY sense of the word. I´ve been watching the old wrinklies by the pool and how they let it all hang out. They´re completely relaxed with each other and I imagine that they know each others bodies better than they know their own, and it makes me wonder whether I´ll ever be that relaxed with a man. I also wonder whether they´re as contented as they seem - or has their marriage been dogged with problems, extra maritals, gambling, celibacy... Who can ever tell? But they´re still together and relaxing in the sunshine, so whatever the compromise, it surely can´t be that bad, can it?

I´ve just sent an email to Delaney promising my poolside Relationship Rehab tomorrow.

For now...
I need to just lay back and tune back in to Michael Buble.
These dark glasses are great for hiding the tears, if only I could keep my mouth from pincing at the same time.....