I wake up to find myself still in Ade’s arms and still fully clothed. The room is still and quiet, and as strange as it is, I subconsciously know it’s the early hours of the morning. I look up at his face as he sleeps. His muscles are relaxed and his mouth slightly open. He looks so vulnerable and I’m cherishing this intimate moment with him. I twist in his arms and check his watch - 2.48am. I was right. Early hours. My fidgeting has woken him and when I feel his hot breath at the back of my ear it shoots goosepimples straight across my chest.
“Hmmmm,“ he moans, “you feel lovely.“
It feels so natural with him. I know it’s a cliche, but I know this is right. I can’t help but remind myself that it would never have worked with Rob anyway - a relationship coming from a friendship would mean that we know each other on a different level; and then there will always be the Tamsin connection. It’s potentially too messy, whereas with Ade, we both have similar careers and understand the vagaries of working in the magazine industry. He’s quirky - my ideal man. Strong and opinionated, yet professional and in tune with his feminine side. We could be a fabulous couple - both journalists and both striving forward for a lucrative future. My thoughts are interrupted as he moves in to kiss me. His tongue is slightly jabbing again as he starts to part my lips with his. It’s a strange feeling - almost as if he’s in a hurry - but this could be a match made in heaven. The kissing just needs a little work. He groans a little as he kisses my neck and says,
“Sophie Regan. I so want to make love to you. And then I want to fuck you. And then I want to make love to you again.“
My tummy flips, causing a twinge between my legs and a fast pulse in the side of my neck. He gently but firmly pushes me onto my front and I turn my head to the side so as to not suffocate in the plump pillow.
“Are you OK? A little tense?”
I giggle.
“Come on,” his voice is a husky moan, “I’m going to give you a back rub.”
And with that he is pulling my top up to reveal my back and I fidget as it gets caught and tangled. As I raise myself a little he whips my top up and over my head and arms, leaving me laying there in my bra. His hands are firm on my back as he begins to make random sweeping movements across my shoulders.
“I’m going to open your bra strap. It’s in the way.”
And I feel the weight of him, sitting across my bum, as he fiddles with my bra strap. An absurd amount of time passes and I’m increasingly embarrassed for him as he fumbles for way too long.
“Ohhh,” he moans, and I can hear the humiliation in his voice, “I can’t open these things. Can I rip it?”
“No!” I shriek, “here, I’ll do it.” And I find myself reaching back and opening my own bra strap.
The back rub is a little clumsy and far from relaxing and so I am relieved and disappointed when he stops and rolls off of me, to lay beside me once again.
“OK, now you do me. Please?”
“OK.”
He makes no attempt to grope for my bare breasts or even to look at me, semi-naked on the bed with him.
Rolling onto his stomach he buries his face into the pillow and waits for me to return the back-rub favour.
“Dig your nails in,” he orders. “Really hard. Really dig them in and scratch me.”
“I can’t do that!”
“Yes you can. I love it.”
“But I don’t wanna HURT you!”
“It won’t. Just do it.”
And so, feeling rather ridiculous, wearing my jeans and nothing else, I straddle his back and begin to scratch him from shoulder blades to waist. The red track lines appear instantly and I’m not feeling great about this. I can only do this for a short while and before long I lay my nakedness down onto his back and hug him.
“I can’t do that any more. Your back is so red. I don’t like it.”
“OK,” he slightly grumbles and turns himself over beneath me, grabbing my hips and pulling me high over him so that my right boob is dangling near to his face.
He takes it in his mouth.
Once again I wait for the zinging pings of excitement to zip through me.
They don’t.
I look down at him, his eyes closed as he sucks and licks on my nipple.
It’s bordering on breastfeeding.
My face is ridiculously close to the headboard and I’m staring at it at close range.
Bored.
And I’m feeling zilch.
Freaky.
What IS wrong with me?
Thankfully he stops after a short while and rolls me down and onto my back so that he is now towering over me and smiling. He is so gorgeous and the fact that he is a little clumsy and awkward is strangely endearing - as if he’s not this ‘super-stud’ who lives up to his ‘Ade Gets Laid’ image. He comes down to kiss me again and I can feel ‘him’ hard and bulging as he pushes down on me.
“Sorry,” he whispers as he licks and sucks my neck, “I’m a little out of practice.”
“S’ok,” I murmur, “you’re lovely.”
And I mean it.
And his kisses on my neck and across my chest become more frantic and needy and I feel myself panting and wanting to hold him so close to me. He raises my legs up onto his shoulders and then I feel him unbuttoning my jeans and grasping them tightly by my belt. I squeak in a little protestation as he tugs them and in one movement pulls my jeans and g-string from my legs.
“My god Ade,” I whisper, “I’m completely naked now.”
“Yeah,” he grins, a wicked twinkle in his eye, “I know.”
“We can’t do this. It’s not right. Not so quick.”
“Course we can. You feel so good. I’m nuts about you.” And then he lowers himself down onto me again and kisses me, those tongue-jabby movements not improving.
I can feel his exposed flesh on the insides of my thigh and I feel a slight panic.
“Ade. No. We can’t do this. This isn’t right.“
And he hushes me with some more kisses and before I know it I can feel him inside of me!
It feels strange.
It’s been so long since I’ve been this close to a guy, but I know for a fact that I’ve never felt a dick so skinny!
I’m aware that I’m clenching my muscles ‘down there’ but it has little effect.
This is horrendous!
I look up at him, frowning and pumping and we hold the eye contact as he smiles at me and then lowers himself to kiss me once again.
But I’m just not feeling this moment.
It’s not worth it.
I didn’t really want it.
But isn’t the first time ALWAYS awkward?
And wasn’t it inevitable that I was going to be a little disappointed? After all, I’ve fancied him so much and for so long, wasn’t I destined to be disappointed? Be realistic, it’s never like it is in the movies, is it!
*
He gives up shortly after, probably realising that there was going to be no wave-crashing, earth-shattering resolution to this. So he lays beside me, his glorious tanned and hairy chest rising and falling rapidly as he begins to regulate his breathing.
I rest my head on his chest, slowly twirling my finger around his nipple, watching it pucker and tighten. His hands feel tender, stroking my hair lovingly and then he says,
“You got any toys?“
“Yeah,“ I grin to myself, “I have a little red car and a Barbie doll - but I don’t get to play with them much.“
He doesn’t laugh, but carries on with,
“I could use them on you. Bring them around next time we’re together and I’ll play with you with them.“
“Yeah,“ I smile to myself, contentedly, “I’ll do that.“
Then he pulls me up to face him, kisses me slowly and I fall asleep once again to the feeling of him gently stroking my face and hair....
*
We wake again and the mood in the room is different. I can hear the wood pigeons ‘coo coooo, coo coooo’ing’ outside and the sound of slightly increased traffic flow. I’ve turned in my sleep and have my back to him, my knees tucked up and almost in the foetal position. He wakes me with his hands on my bare bum, squeezing it and rubbing it sensually,
“Hmmmmm, this gives me an idea of what I could do to you later on.”
I straighten my legs and turn to face him,
“I’ve gotta go to the bathroom.”
He hugs me tight and closes his eyes, “No.”
“I have to.”
“No. You’re not going anywhere.”
I laugh and try to wriggle away, “Ade! I have to go.”
“Nope.”
“Ade?”
His eyes are clamped shut and he is hugging me so tightly that I can’t get away.
“Nope. You’re not going anywhere. I’m keeping you here with me forever.”
But I manage to tickle him into submission and make my bare-arsed exit for the bathroom.
I return to the bed to find that he’s ready for some more of me and am disappointed to find that his technique is no better the second time around.
He is sexually clumsy and rather immature, which shocks me, given his iconic Geezer magazine status. But I really like him and I’m looking forward to spending more time with him, doing all the things that he’s suggested - like going for meals to his favourite Chinese restaurant, chilling out at his place, playing with my sex toys and really getting to know each other. The sex stuff? We can work on that. His severe lack of fineries is something that I can educate him on.
Ade Ford, despite his lack of sexual prowess, could actually make me consider shelving the entire notion of staying single for another 14 weeks. I mean, if I’ve found what I’m looking for - if I have a man that is ticking (virtually) all the boxes, then why jeopardise that for the sake of a stupid magazine column?
Chapter Sixty Two
Chapter Sixty Four
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Chapter Sixty Two - Contended Bliss
OK, OK! I had to make a decision and based on the speedy and overwhelming responses I’ve had to my ‘dilemma’ I decided to go for it! The shooting zips of excitement that were whizzing up my arms as Ade held my hand made it difficult to think straight. And I’m still not entirely sure that I am - thinking straight. I felt like something out of a James Bond film as I watched the helicopter start the propellers and Ade was gently tugging at my hand to go with him. Delaney’s smile was huge and Ross and Darren looked ecstatic at the live ’action’. Delaney showed a soft side and gave me a hug as she whispered in my ear, “this is so much more than we’d hoped for on the ‘dilemma’ front! Sophie, it was intended as a simple ‘should she see him again or not’? As a ‘would YOU go out with this guy again‘ question. But good luck to you. Enjoy this!”
I felt sick with nerves and felt slightly pressurised by Delaney’s excitement, coupled with the camera presence. So feeling rather ridiculous but also very excited and nervous I ducked down and ran to the helicopter with Adrian.
I felt even more sick minutes later when the helicopter took off and we swooped away from the rink, leaving behind The Temperate House lit up in multicolour and the heavy thudding sounds chopping in my head. Ade put his arm around my hips and pulled me close to his side. This was SO romantic that if I wasn’t hugging on to his arm so tightly I’d have had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. As we sped across the night sky I giggled at his lame jokes about enjoying his huge chopper - they were slightly crude and clumsy and made me feel a little unsure about him - just fleetingly. And then he kissed my cheek lightly and began to melt me with his words.
“You know, Sophie, we won’t ALWAYS travel like this. We‘ll have to pull in favours like this only on extra special occasions.”
And I looked into his warm eyes and we’d sniggered at the pretence of it all. And then he’d told me about a fabulous Chinese restaurant that he’d been to only last week and couldn’t WAIT to take me to. Looking down over the festive lights of London below I felt a glow that warmed my entire body from deep within me and buzzing gently outwards to my skin. I’ve never been so crazy about a guy who has made me feel as if we both want to build an exciting future together.
“It‘ll be a great Christmas this year,” he added. I didn‘t have the heart to mention that I’m going to be in L.A for the festivities - the timing just seemed wrong, so I let him continue, “You can come over to my place and spend some time just chilling. We can stay in bed all day and I can hold you. I have some fab new CD’s that you’re gonna love. And I just HAVE to take you to that Chinese restaurant!”
Then he’d hugged me and turned my face to his and kissed me until the electric shocks shot through my lips and straight into my head. The realisation that I haven’t felt as cosy and close as this for a long time suddenly hit me and almost made me cry. I‘ve missed this. And before I knew it he was stroking my hair from my face and kissing me again. It felt slightly clumsy though - his kissing. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the moment as I waited for his kisses to make my stomach flip. But they didn’t. And I wondered whether I was a little out of practice. It must have been that. Because I am completely mad about this guy. And I can really see us carving a future together. I found myself not quite knowing what to say - as if I was watching myself from the outside – how I look and act and what I was saying. And yet it was never like this with Rob. I have always been 100% ME with him. But then again, my ‘relationship’ with Rob was one that grew from friendship. And this, with Ade, is what is meant to be.
Minutes later we were lowering down onto a helipad at the London Heliport at Battersea and I noticed the sleek black Mercedes waiting. Ade was the perfect gentleman, taking my hand and helping me hop out of the helicopter before leading me to the Merc, ready to be whisked off to the Dorchester.
*
This is gorgeous! I’m totally blown away, although a bit nervous about all of this. It’s all so, well, over the top! We walk into this opulent room, both a little flustered after the highs (literally) of the journey and the adrenalin of the skating. It’s all been so heady and exhilarating and after the blustery exit from the helicopter and the chopping in-flight noise, the quietness of this room is buzzing in my ears. I don’t really know what to do with myself. The bed seems like a huge white elephant in the middle of the room and I don’t want it to be the focus! As much as I really fancy Ade I don’t want this just to be about sex. He has made me feel that he’s as keen as I am about working toward a loving relationship - he obviously can envisage a future with me, given what he was saying in the helicopter so it’s inevitable that we’re going to sleep together. But it has to be more than just that. Feeling a little awkward I go into the bathroom, the shine off the gold taps dazzling me - and I hear his voice as he speaks on the phone. I twirl my hair up into a high knot and twist my g-string around it tightly to hold it in place before nipping into the luxury power shower for a quick wash. It’s not so great having to put on my ice skating clothes afterwards, but there’s no way I’m going back in there naked! I return into the room to find that he’s had brandy and nibbles sent to the room.
“I was going to book us a room in the restaurant babe, but I’m a bit knackered. How do you feel about it?“
“No,“ I smile at him and flop down onto the sumptuous bed, “I’m way tired. This looks great. And I’m not hungry, anyway. Let’s just relax here, that’s fine with me.“
Ade flicks through the television stations, not even pausing at the porn (which slightly impressed me, I have to say!) and stopped it at the ‘100 Love Songs’ channel.
I feel the tension of the last few weeks begin to drain from my body, as if the plush bedding beneath me is sucking it away from me and soaking it up. I drink my brandy in 4 mouthfuls and begin to tingle. Within minutes I’m snuggled into Ade’s arms. It’s all just so right. His arms feel so natural and comfortable around me, his mouth feels as if it was made to fit mine and it’s as if we’ve known each other for years. His kissing is a little rushed, but that makes me feel kind of nice - as if he can’t wait to devour me. But he’ll have to. He doesn’t attempt to remove my clothing, nor touch any parts of my body other than my face and arms as he hugs me tightly, contentedly.
“This is lovely, isn’t it?“ He murmurs in my ear, his voice low and husky. “People weren’t made to be alone. This is really nice...“
And I grin and agree with a light “mmm,“ before slipping into a cosy and happy sleep.
Chapter Sixty One
Chapter Sixty Three
I felt sick with nerves and felt slightly pressurised by Delaney’s excitement, coupled with the camera presence. So feeling rather ridiculous but also very excited and nervous I ducked down and ran to the helicopter with Adrian.
I felt even more sick minutes later when the helicopter took off and we swooped away from the rink, leaving behind The Temperate House lit up in multicolour and the heavy thudding sounds chopping in my head. Ade put his arm around my hips and pulled me close to his side. This was SO romantic that if I wasn’t hugging on to his arm so tightly I’d have had to pinch myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. As we sped across the night sky I giggled at his lame jokes about enjoying his huge chopper - they were slightly crude and clumsy and made me feel a little unsure about him - just fleetingly. And then he kissed my cheek lightly and began to melt me with his words.
“You know, Sophie, we won’t ALWAYS travel like this. We‘ll have to pull in favours like this only on extra special occasions.”
And I looked into his warm eyes and we’d sniggered at the pretence of it all. And then he’d told me about a fabulous Chinese restaurant that he’d been to only last week and couldn’t WAIT to take me to. Looking down over the festive lights of London below I felt a glow that warmed my entire body from deep within me and buzzing gently outwards to my skin. I’ve never been so crazy about a guy who has made me feel as if we both want to build an exciting future together.
“It‘ll be a great Christmas this year,” he added. I didn‘t have the heart to mention that I’m going to be in L.A for the festivities - the timing just seemed wrong, so I let him continue, “You can come over to my place and spend some time just chilling. We can stay in bed all day and I can hold you. I have some fab new CD’s that you’re gonna love. And I just HAVE to take you to that Chinese restaurant!”
Then he’d hugged me and turned my face to his and kissed me until the electric shocks shot through my lips and straight into my head. The realisation that I haven’t felt as cosy and close as this for a long time suddenly hit me and almost made me cry. I‘ve missed this. And before I knew it he was stroking my hair from my face and kissing me again. It felt slightly clumsy though - his kissing. I closed my eyes and lost myself in the moment as I waited for his kisses to make my stomach flip. But they didn’t. And I wondered whether I was a little out of practice. It must have been that. Because I am completely mad about this guy. And I can really see us carving a future together. I found myself not quite knowing what to say - as if I was watching myself from the outside – how I look and act and what I was saying. And yet it was never like this with Rob. I have always been 100% ME with him. But then again, my ‘relationship’ with Rob was one that grew from friendship. And this, with Ade, is what is meant to be.
Minutes later we were lowering down onto a helipad at the London Heliport at Battersea and I noticed the sleek black Mercedes waiting. Ade was the perfect gentleman, taking my hand and helping me hop out of the helicopter before leading me to the Merc, ready to be whisked off to the Dorchester.
*
This is gorgeous! I’m totally blown away, although a bit nervous about all of this. It’s all so, well, over the top! We walk into this opulent room, both a little flustered after the highs (literally) of the journey and the adrenalin of the skating. It’s all been so heady and exhilarating and after the blustery exit from the helicopter and the chopping in-flight noise, the quietness of this room is buzzing in my ears. I don’t really know what to do with myself. The bed seems like a huge white elephant in the middle of the room and I don’t want it to be the focus! As much as I really fancy Ade I don’t want this just to be about sex. He has made me feel that he’s as keen as I am about working toward a loving relationship - he obviously can envisage a future with me, given what he was saying in the helicopter so it’s inevitable that we’re going to sleep together. But it has to be more than just that. Feeling a little awkward I go into the bathroom, the shine off the gold taps dazzling me - and I hear his voice as he speaks on the phone. I twirl my hair up into a high knot and twist my g-string around it tightly to hold it in place before nipping into the luxury power shower for a quick wash. It’s not so great having to put on my ice skating clothes afterwards, but there’s no way I’m going back in there naked! I return into the room to find that he’s had brandy and nibbles sent to the room.
“I was going to book us a room in the restaurant babe, but I’m a bit knackered. How do you feel about it?“
“No,“ I smile at him and flop down onto the sumptuous bed, “I’m way tired. This looks great. And I’m not hungry, anyway. Let’s just relax here, that’s fine with me.“
Ade flicks through the television stations, not even pausing at the porn (which slightly impressed me, I have to say!) and stopped it at the ‘100 Love Songs’ channel.
I feel the tension of the last few weeks begin to drain from my body, as if the plush bedding beneath me is sucking it away from me and soaking it up. I drink my brandy in 4 mouthfuls and begin to tingle. Within minutes I’m snuggled into Ade’s arms. It’s all just so right. His arms feel so natural and comfortable around me, his mouth feels as if it was made to fit mine and it’s as if we’ve known each other for years. His kissing is a little rushed, but that makes me feel kind of nice - as if he can’t wait to devour me. But he’ll have to. He doesn’t attempt to remove my clothing, nor touch any parts of my body other than my face and arms as he hugs me tightly, contentedly.
“This is lovely, isn’t it?“ He murmurs in my ear, his voice low and husky. “People weren’t made to be alone. This is really nice...“
And I grin and agree with a light “mmm,“ before slipping into a cosy and happy sleep.
Chapter Sixty One
Chapter Sixty Three
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Sophie Dilemma #1
OK - firstly I must apologise for the wait.
Ross and Darren took ages editing this video and now they have it ready for you all to see.
The issue is - WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
Do I go with Ade in his helicopter? Or should I refuse, on the grounds that he hurt me so badly before??
Talk about a dilemma!
I think Delaney had only agreed to this whole 'Sophie Dilemma' idea on the basis that you were all going to help me decide whether to see the guy again? Not whether I should be whisked away for a night of romance in a private helicopter!!!
Anyway, I'm having a few problems loading it to www.sophiedilemma.com, so for now, and without further ado, please look at this short film, and then PLEASE help me decide what happens next??
Comments welcome - PLEASE!
Sophie..xxx
Chapter Sixty One
Chapter Sixty Two
Ross and Darren took ages editing this video and now they have it ready for you all to see.
The issue is - WHAT DO I DO NEXT?
Do I go with Ade in his helicopter? Or should I refuse, on the grounds that he hurt me so badly before??
Talk about a dilemma!
I think Delaney had only agreed to this whole 'Sophie Dilemma' idea on the basis that you were all going to help me decide whether to see the guy again? Not whether I should be whisked away for a night of romance in a private helicopter!!!
Anyway, I'm having a few problems loading it to www.sophiedilemma.com, so for now, and without further ado, please look at this short film, and then PLEASE help me decide what happens next??
Comments welcome - PLEASE!
Sophie..xxx
Chapter Sixty One
Chapter Sixty Two
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Chapter Sixty One - Joining The Kew!
That was such good fun! My cheeks are glowing and my nose is freezing and I’m buzzing. Every time Ade catches my hand the tingle shoots straight up my arm and hits me somewhere between the eyes. There’s a physicality between us, a chemistry that feels so natural and as if we’ve been together forever. Still on camera, we’re making our way across to Café Ice, my feet feeling awkward in my boots now, after the ice skates. I’m so excited and it all feels SO Christmassy! The Temperate House looks positively glowing, the glass building lit up with multicolour fairy lights and I realise that I‘m in the middle of a Lowry painting - the crowds looking like matchstick people, their arms and legs jutting as they stumble on the ice.
Café Ice has a glorious festive smell to it, a mixture of spiced mulled wine and fruit and chocolate. We find a cosy table and Ade order us both a luxury Galaxy hot chocolate topped with cream. It’s really tough to drink through the cream and I know that I look flirty as I dip my finger into the cream and then suck it. Just sitting and talking to Ade makes me feel sexual and as if every nerve ending in my body is on red alert. His presence debilitates me to the point where I feel I’m losing my personality and I feel an overwhelming lust for him, which kind of freaks me out! This ISN’T how it was supposed to be!
And then, just as I’m completely lost in my Galaxy hot choc and my naughty thoughts, he leans across the table and says something that blows me away.
“This ‘dilemma’ idea?”
I nod, wide-eyed as he continues,
“Well, the ‘dilemma’ is whether you should go out with me a second time, right?”
“Yep, reckon so,” I’m sucking more cream off my fingers as I answer him.
“Well,” his smile is stunning, “I’m just about to up my game then.”
I smile at him. “How?”
“I have something to ask you.”
And he leans across the table and takes my hand. My heart sprints into double speed as it bangs rapidly in my chest. I feel my cheeks flush as the camera moves in ultra close at our table side.
And then he says it...
“I’m ashamed at how I treated you earlier in the year. I was flimsy and now want the chance to show you how you SHOULD be treated by a man. A real man. Let me BE that man.”
And as my brain rushes to unscramble what he’s trying to say, he indicates across to the rink-side with a nod.
“Come with me,” he says, just as a small helicopter lowers itself, polka dotted with the reflection of the red and green Christmas lights of Kew Gardens at night.
I try not to choke on my drink as the camera pans around to watch it land, and then comes straight back to my befuzzled facial expression....
Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty Two
Café Ice has a glorious festive smell to it, a mixture of spiced mulled wine and fruit and chocolate. We find a cosy table and Ade order us both a luxury Galaxy hot chocolate topped with cream. It’s really tough to drink through the cream and I know that I look flirty as I dip my finger into the cream and then suck it. Just sitting and talking to Ade makes me feel sexual and as if every nerve ending in my body is on red alert. His presence debilitates me to the point where I feel I’m losing my personality and I feel an overwhelming lust for him, which kind of freaks me out! This ISN’T how it was supposed to be!
And then, just as I’m completely lost in my Galaxy hot choc and my naughty thoughts, he leans across the table and says something that blows me away.
“This ‘dilemma’ idea?”
I nod, wide-eyed as he continues,
“Well, the ‘dilemma’ is whether you should go out with me a second time, right?”
“Yep, reckon so,” I’m sucking more cream off my fingers as I answer him.
“Well,” his smile is stunning, “I’m just about to up my game then.”
I smile at him. “How?”
“I have something to ask you.”
And he leans across the table and takes my hand. My heart sprints into double speed as it bangs rapidly in my chest. I feel my cheeks flush as the camera moves in ultra close at our table side.
And then he says it...
“I’m ashamed at how I treated you earlier in the year. I was flimsy and now want the chance to show you how you SHOULD be treated by a man. A real man. Let me BE that man.”
And as my brain rushes to unscramble what he’s trying to say, he indicates across to the rink-side with a nod.
“Come with me,” he says, just as a small helicopter lowers itself, polka dotted with the reflection of the red and green Christmas lights of Kew Gardens at night.
I try not to choke on my drink as the camera pans around to watch it land, and then comes straight back to my befuzzled facial expression....
Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty Two
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Chapter Sixty - Ice Ice Baby
OK, so the day has come. I’m ridiculously nervous about this first date. Even though I KNOW the guy and I know where we’re going I am a wreck. I actually feel SICK. I’ve rushed to the toilet 5 times already! I’ve spent the morning at work and Delaney has given me the afternoon off to calm myself down. She said I was no good ‘to man or beast’ - which I think she meant as a light hearted joke, but I actually took very seriously! She’s right! I’m not! I’m sitting on my bed and looking at the dress I bought from Monsoon for Mum’s wedding and am slightly repulsed by the small orangey flecks in it. If I’d only known I was going to be in keeping with the ‘theme’ then I’d never have bought it. But I’ve also realised that everybody at the wedding will be brown and tanned and I’ll be there with my pasty white arms and milk bottle legs. I need to book an intense St Tropez session and while I’m at it I might as well go the whole hog and have my hair cut and my legs and armpits waxed too. Yes, if I have to endure these next 2 weeks with 4 horrendous ‘live’ dates then I deserve a little pampering...
Now where are my matching gloves and scarf and woolly hat?
So NOT a good look for a date!
*
Ade felt slightly nervous about the impending ‘date’ but was quietly confident too. He’d decided to wear his jeans and his light blue Ben Sherman jumper - he knew it looked dead sexy, the way it stretched across his chest and shoulders. His Mum had joked that it looked like the coat hanger was still in it and he loved that notion. He looked good and knew it. He’d tried on a couple of beanie hats but had dragged them off almost immediately - there was something about them that made him feel like a Peter Andre wannabe. He knew from skating in the past that the exercise heats you up and he didn’t want to have the red-cheeked look after only half a hour. Patting his jeans pocket he checked that he had all the information that he needed and grabbed his car keys, slamming the front door behind him.
*
I always feel like somebody from a film when I’m in a black cab. There’s something cinematic about it, as I imagine myself being filmed, zipping through the London streets, the blue fibre optic Christmas lights shining down onto the black paintwork. I feel really sick. I’ve been listening to the saxophone version of ‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas’ for the last 3 minutes and it’s making me feel a little poignant and sad. It’s like one of those romantic moments from a film as I’m on my way to a date with Ade - the guy that really messed me up earlier in the year. But strangely, now the empty pit in my stomach is for Rob. I’m finding it difficult to eat or to think straight simply because of the misdemeanour that he thinks I’m a cheating bitch. And I can’t even defend myself. It’s not fair.
“Kew Gardens, babe!”
The taxi driver breaks my downward spiral of self-doubt and hatred, jerking me into an aware state that we’re actually here.
“OK,” I reply, my voice shaky.
As I pull a tenner out of my purse I can’t help but be overwhelmed at how fabulous the rink looks. Lots of people, many of them in red - how predictable, rhythmically moving in an anti-clockwise direction. It looks like fun! If only I wasn’t also looking at Ross and Darren standing with the 2 cameras and the few crew members. Reality check that this is work and NOT play. As soon as I’m out of the taxi Ross is over,
“Hey, Sophie. You look great! Any word from Adrian? He hasn’t arrived yet.
“No,” I reply, but can’t figure why they think I’d hear from him.
“OK,” he gently holds my arms and leads me across to the camera, “we gotta get you mic’d up and talk through the workings. Wanna wait til Ade arrives?”
“No, let’s do it now. I can listen again when he gets here. I’m so nervous I probably won’t remember it anyway.”
“Right, we’re gonna just film a short amount of footage of you 2 guys skating around. You any good?”
I shake my head. He laughs.
“OK, so we’re gonna grab some scenes of you both skating, or trying to, and gonna ask you to come over here and talk a little in front of the cameras too. But the main part of the dilemma has to be when you’re having your hot chocolate drinks afterwards. What we want is for the audience to watch how you both interact together and whether they think you should see him again. So just be yourself. Viewers know when they’re being hoodwinked, so just be completely natural and let them see the REAL Sophie and how she acts when she’s on a date.”
“Right.” I feel weak. Bloody Delaney. This was all her idea!
I’m watching the families and couples, work mates and children spinning on the ice beneath the stars and beside the glow of a huge Christmas tree and I hate to admit that it does warm my heart. That heart of mine that sits in shards in my chest every time I think of Rob and how I’ve messed it all up. I wish I was here with him. The atmosphere is exciting and edgy and I’m loving watching my breath escape from my mouth in icy clouds. I’m slightly impressed when Ade pulls up in a rather slick black car - I don’t have a clue what make it is, but it’s swish-looking. He looks gorgeous when he gets out of the car and in that split second all of the lusty feelings I once had for him rush in. It’s as if all of the bad stuff between us hasn’t happened, and as if all the good bits between Rob and I hadn’t too.
*
He’s bloody fantastic at skating - the bastard! I bet he was delighted when Delaney agreed to the open air rink being the first of my 4 dates. He certainly knew what he was doing. The very nature of ice skating means that conversation doesn’t flow particularly easy, which is actually more of a bonus than a pain. I throw my head back and laugh when Ade gets me a zimmer frame type of thing to lean on so that I can learn and ‘find my feet’. There’s no way I’m pushing that contraption around the ice. It’s only minutes later than I’ve completely forgotten about the cameras and when he grabs my hand and drags me alongside him at top speed, I feel my hair flying behind me and I’m aware that I’m screaming! I bet the film crew are loving this! He grabs my hips and spins me a little, not too fast, and I’m mortified to realise that I probably look at lot like Bambi - only less attractive and with chunkier legs. But it’s all great fun and I’m alarmingly aware that my skin tingles everytime he touches me. It’s a scary realisation, but a very true one.
I’ve still got the hots for Ade.
Big time.
He’s so wrong for me, a liar and a cheat and completely lacks integrity.
But I fancy the fucking pants off him....
Chapter Fifty Nine
Chapter Sixty One
Now where are my matching gloves and scarf and woolly hat?
So NOT a good look for a date!
*
Ade felt slightly nervous about the impending ‘date’ but was quietly confident too. He’d decided to wear his jeans and his light blue Ben Sherman jumper - he knew it looked dead sexy, the way it stretched across his chest and shoulders. His Mum had joked that it looked like the coat hanger was still in it and he loved that notion. He looked good and knew it. He’d tried on a couple of beanie hats but had dragged them off almost immediately - there was something about them that made him feel like a Peter Andre wannabe. He knew from skating in the past that the exercise heats you up and he didn’t want to have the red-cheeked look after only half a hour. Patting his jeans pocket he checked that he had all the information that he needed and grabbed his car keys, slamming the front door behind him.
*
I always feel like somebody from a film when I’m in a black cab. There’s something cinematic about it, as I imagine myself being filmed, zipping through the London streets, the blue fibre optic Christmas lights shining down onto the black paintwork. I feel really sick. I’ve been listening to the saxophone version of ‘Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas’ for the last 3 minutes and it’s making me feel a little poignant and sad. It’s like one of those romantic moments from a film as I’m on my way to a date with Ade - the guy that really messed me up earlier in the year. But strangely, now the empty pit in my stomach is for Rob. I’m finding it difficult to eat or to think straight simply because of the misdemeanour that he thinks I’m a cheating bitch. And I can’t even defend myself. It’s not fair.
“Kew Gardens, babe!”
The taxi driver breaks my downward spiral of self-doubt and hatred, jerking me into an aware state that we’re actually here.
“OK,” I reply, my voice shaky.
As I pull a tenner out of my purse I can’t help but be overwhelmed at how fabulous the rink looks. Lots of people, many of them in red - how predictable, rhythmically moving in an anti-clockwise direction. It looks like fun! If only I wasn’t also looking at Ross and Darren standing with the 2 cameras and the few crew members. Reality check that this is work and NOT play. As soon as I’m out of the taxi Ross is over,
“Hey, Sophie. You look great! Any word from Adrian? He hasn’t arrived yet.
“No,” I reply, but can’t figure why they think I’d hear from him.
“OK,” he gently holds my arms and leads me across to the camera, “we gotta get you mic’d up and talk through the workings. Wanna wait til Ade arrives?”
“No, let’s do it now. I can listen again when he gets here. I’m so nervous I probably won’t remember it anyway.”
“Right, we’re gonna just film a short amount of footage of you 2 guys skating around. You any good?”
I shake my head. He laughs.
“OK, so we’re gonna grab some scenes of you both skating, or trying to, and gonna ask you to come over here and talk a little in front of the cameras too. But the main part of the dilemma has to be when you’re having your hot chocolate drinks afterwards. What we want is for the audience to watch how you both interact together and whether they think you should see him again. So just be yourself. Viewers know when they’re being hoodwinked, so just be completely natural and let them see the REAL Sophie and how she acts when she’s on a date.”
“Right.” I feel weak. Bloody Delaney. This was all her idea!
I’m watching the families and couples, work mates and children spinning on the ice beneath the stars and beside the glow of a huge Christmas tree and I hate to admit that it does warm my heart. That heart of mine that sits in shards in my chest every time I think of Rob and how I’ve messed it all up. I wish I was here with him. The atmosphere is exciting and edgy and I’m loving watching my breath escape from my mouth in icy clouds. I’m slightly impressed when Ade pulls up in a rather slick black car - I don’t have a clue what make it is, but it’s swish-looking. He looks gorgeous when he gets out of the car and in that split second all of the lusty feelings I once had for him rush in. It’s as if all of the bad stuff between us hasn’t happened, and as if all the good bits between Rob and I hadn’t too.
*
He’s bloody fantastic at skating - the bastard! I bet he was delighted when Delaney agreed to the open air rink being the first of my 4 dates. He certainly knew what he was doing. The very nature of ice skating means that conversation doesn’t flow particularly easy, which is actually more of a bonus than a pain. I throw my head back and laugh when Ade gets me a zimmer frame type of thing to lean on so that I can learn and ‘find my feet’. There’s no way I’m pushing that contraption around the ice. It’s only minutes later than I’ve completely forgotten about the cameras and when he grabs my hand and drags me alongside him at top speed, I feel my hair flying behind me and I’m aware that I’m screaming! I bet the film crew are loving this! He grabs my hips and spins me a little, not too fast, and I’m mortified to realise that I probably look at lot like Bambi - only less attractive and with chunkier legs. But it’s all great fun and I’m alarmingly aware that my skin tingles everytime he touches me. It’s a scary realisation, but a very true one.
I’ve still got the hots for Ade.
Big time.
He’s so wrong for me, a liar and a cheat and completely lacks integrity.
But I fancy the fucking pants off him....
Chapter Fifty Nine
Chapter Sixty One
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Chapter Fifty Nine - The Man From Del Monte He Say "*&@!*!!"
It’s ludicrous - the way my Mother and sister go on. Honestly, you’d think they were a couple of teenagers - what with their shrieking and giggling about the stupidest things. I’ve been listening to Jennifer for the last 35 minutes from my bedroom. I’ve been trying to reorganise the room in a bid to create a calm space. It looked a whole lot better as soon as I moved the weeks discarded clothes from the floor and into the washing bin. As much as I’ve been determined NOT to ear-wig on their conversation, it’s impossible. Jen is raucous and from the one-sided chat that I’ve been listening to I already know about Mum’s ‘new best friend’ Bobbi Jo and how she’s now going overboard on the orange theme. It reminds me of a weekend I had in Amsterdam where everything was orange, but that’s another story. Jennifer’s been laughing about the orange-iced wedding cake, the orange juice fountain and the orange fairy lights. It stands to reason really though, that if my mother wanted to go for a hideous orange theme, she wasn’t equipped to do it in a STYLISH way. And then I hear Jennifer stop laughing and make a feeble attempt at lowering her voice,
“Noo, she’s still the same. Yeah. No. Not at all. Yep, another 3 months to go I think. Ridiculous, I agree. I CAN’T sort her, Mam. Chalk and cheese, darling. Yes. Of course. Well I think I’ll probably head back home after your wedding. No. Nothing really to go back for. Yeah, I have loved it here. London’s fab. And the sunbed shop job HAS been fun. Oh, Mam, how mad! I’ve just realised I’m working for a place that TURNS people orange and you’re having an orange weddiiinnngg!!!“
When I emerge from my bedroom an hour later Jen is still on the phone, although I can tell by her husky drawl that she’s not talking to our mother. She stiffens up a little when she realises I’m in the room, shuffling herself into an upright position on the sofa, and I’m SURE I see her move her hand from beneath her skirt! Yuk! How sick? She whispers a low,
“OK baby. Yeah baby. Bye bye Big Boy,“ into the phone before disconnecting it and trying to avoid eye contact with me. Probably that awful guy she met at the sunbed shop.
“So,” I ask with a forced air of nonchalance, “how was Mum?”
“Oh,” she flicked her hair and pretended to watch the muted television, “you know. Excited, hyperactive, a hundred miles an hour. The usual.”
“So it really IS going to be orange.”
“Yep,” she nodded, “it really is. And the hen party was orange and the caterers are cooking orange-themed or flavoured foods, the marquee furnishings are going to be orange. You name it, it’s orange.”
“Great,” I hiss, “our mother’s marrying the man from fucking Del Monte!”
“Ha, yeah,” Jen laughs, “bloody shame he said ‘yes’!”
And we both curl up and laugh.
Together.
For the first time in years.
*
Ben Scott was on his fifth Jack Daniels and had a massive hard on. He was reclined on his sheepskin rug dressed in La Perla lace knickers, suspenders with silk stockings and 3 inch high black patent stilettos. They looked ridiculous, cutting into the flesh on his thighs - his black leg hair thick and squashed beneath the stockings; his bony, knobbly ankles leading down to the size 9 shoes. A glow from his laptop was the only light in the room which gave a soft-tone blue tinge to his naked flesh. Looking out at his balcony doors he could see the night lights of London sparkling in the icy night air. His breath was short and fast and he could feel his pulse beating in his neck and chest. The feel of the tight knickers really turned him on but the sexy messages that were hitting his ‘inbox‘ were certainly upping the pace. He‘d hooked up with his new cohort months ago, when Sophie Regan had become London‘s new ‘favourite‘ and launched her stupid project. Little had he known then what a sexy bitch this new ‘buddy’ was and how her evil streak was her sexiest feature. As he waited for her to reply to his MSN instant message he continued checking his friends-friends-friends. He adored Facebook and since hearing how all the media types were on there and the potential for networking he hadn‘t hesitated in loading his entire portfolio of publicity photos and give it his best shot. At his age he couldn’t afford to miss the opportunity to comb through everyone else’s ‘friends’ and the networking opportunities were endless. It bothered him that Sophie might reveal his ‘secret’ and it if wasn’t for this new woman and her wickedly sexy ideas then he’d surely be finished on television. He’d seen it all too many times; the nations ’darling’ pulled through the shit, their career in tatters and beyond repair. Take his good friend Michael Barrymore - what an horrendous time he’d had and then there’d been Jade Goody for her rants on Big Brother. It had left them both in tatters and it was all so unfair and unjust. He couldn’t risk the same for him, which was why Sophie had to be silenced and if that meant framing her as a fraud, then that‘s what he‘d have to do.
His television contract had only been renewed for another year and he knew that he was in constant danger of being cast in the shadows by the new influx of presenters filtering up from the children’s TV channels and onto the mainstream, Saturday night shows. Then there were the ex-radio jocks moving into the daytime chat-show arena. He’d felt sick when he’d been told that Charlotte Church had been given her own chat show. He felt truly saddened that the old pro’s - the Michael Parkinsons, the Jay Leno’s, the Terry Wogan’s were being spurned for a gobby cow with NO experience. But ultimately he was terrified that Sophie had the potential to spill the beans on his fetish for women’s clothing. He’d felt ill when she had first found him wearing the cotton sundress as she’d walked into his flat without knocking. That had been nearly 2 years ago now but he remembered it like yesterday. She’d been shocked but they’d talked it through and she SEEMED to understand! It had taken her a couple of weeks to tell him that she respected his pleasures, but that she couldn’t continue to see him in a sexually attractive way. She’d even hugged him and said that they’d remain friends! And he had believed her! The sex between them had always been explosive and she was an extremely uninhibited filly in the bedroom. He’d always thought it such a shame that she constantly nagged him about his communicative skills and that she found his penchant for Agent Provocateur a turn off. The fact remained though, that she was the ONLY person in the media world that knew about his secret and since her catapult into public eye with the Staying Single story he wasn’t so sure that he could trust her. He clicked to open the MSN menu to check whether his sexiest closest confidante was online.
Angela Johnson was.
Excellent.
If it wasn’t for her, he’d have NO idea that Sophie was planning to humiliate him on national television . It was just as well he had something on her to sling back. And, thanks to AJ, he was now going to be her 4th, and final, Sophie Dilemma date – which was to be filmed live. This would give him the perfect opportunity to embarrass Sophie live and online. That should lay to rest any wicked ideas she might have about mentioning the odd suspender belt or lycra mini skirt that he had tucked away in his secret drawer at home….
Chapter Fifty Eight
Chapter Sixty
“Noo, she’s still the same. Yeah. No. Not at all. Yep, another 3 months to go I think. Ridiculous, I agree. I CAN’T sort her, Mam. Chalk and cheese, darling. Yes. Of course. Well I think I’ll probably head back home after your wedding. No. Nothing really to go back for. Yeah, I have loved it here. London’s fab. And the sunbed shop job HAS been fun. Oh, Mam, how mad! I’ve just realised I’m working for a place that TURNS people orange and you’re having an orange weddiiinnngg!!!“
When I emerge from my bedroom an hour later Jen is still on the phone, although I can tell by her husky drawl that she’s not talking to our mother. She stiffens up a little when she realises I’m in the room, shuffling herself into an upright position on the sofa, and I’m SURE I see her move her hand from beneath her skirt! Yuk! How sick? She whispers a low,
“OK baby. Yeah baby. Bye bye Big Boy,“ into the phone before disconnecting it and trying to avoid eye contact with me. Probably that awful guy she met at the sunbed shop.
“So,” I ask with a forced air of nonchalance, “how was Mum?”
“Oh,” she flicked her hair and pretended to watch the muted television, “you know. Excited, hyperactive, a hundred miles an hour. The usual.”
“So it really IS going to be orange.”
“Yep,” she nodded, “it really is. And the hen party was orange and the caterers are cooking orange-themed or flavoured foods, the marquee furnishings are going to be orange. You name it, it’s orange.”
“Great,” I hiss, “our mother’s marrying the man from fucking Del Monte!”
“Ha, yeah,” Jen laughs, “bloody shame he said ‘yes’!”
And we both curl up and laugh.
Together.
For the first time in years.
*
Ben Scott was on his fifth Jack Daniels and had a massive hard on. He was reclined on his sheepskin rug dressed in La Perla lace knickers, suspenders with silk stockings and 3 inch high black patent stilettos. They looked ridiculous, cutting into the flesh on his thighs - his black leg hair thick and squashed beneath the stockings; his bony, knobbly ankles leading down to the size 9 shoes. A glow from his laptop was the only light in the room which gave a soft-tone blue tinge to his naked flesh. Looking out at his balcony doors he could see the night lights of London sparkling in the icy night air. His breath was short and fast and he could feel his pulse beating in his neck and chest. The feel of the tight knickers really turned him on but the sexy messages that were hitting his ‘inbox‘ were certainly upping the pace. He‘d hooked up with his new cohort months ago, when Sophie Regan had become London‘s new ‘favourite‘ and launched her stupid project. Little had he known then what a sexy bitch this new ‘buddy’ was and how her evil streak was her sexiest feature. As he waited for her to reply to his MSN instant message he continued checking his friends-friends-friends. He adored Facebook and since hearing how all the media types were on there and the potential for networking he hadn‘t hesitated in loading his entire portfolio of publicity photos and give it his best shot. At his age he couldn’t afford to miss the opportunity to comb through everyone else’s ‘friends’ and the networking opportunities were endless. It bothered him that Sophie might reveal his ‘secret’ and it if wasn’t for this new woman and her wickedly sexy ideas then he’d surely be finished on television. He’d seen it all too many times; the nations ’darling’ pulled through the shit, their career in tatters and beyond repair. Take his good friend Michael Barrymore - what an horrendous time he’d had and then there’d been Jade Goody for her rants on Big Brother. It had left them both in tatters and it was all so unfair and unjust. He couldn’t risk the same for him, which was why Sophie had to be silenced and if that meant framing her as a fraud, then that‘s what he‘d have to do.
His television contract had only been renewed for another year and he knew that he was in constant danger of being cast in the shadows by the new influx of presenters filtering up from the children’s TV channels and onto the mainstream, Saturday night shows. Then there were the ex-radio jocks moving into the daytime chat-show arena. He’d felt sick when he’d been told that Charlotte Church had been given her own chat show. He felt truly saddened that the old pro’s - the Michael Parkinsons, the Jay Leno’s, the Terry Wogan’s were being spurned for a gobby cow with NO experience. But ultimately he was terrified that Sophie had the potential to spill the beans on his fetish for women’s clothing. He’d felt ill when she had first found him wearing the cotton sundress as she’d walked into his flat without knocking. That had been nearly 2 years ago now but he remembered it like yesterday. She’d been shocked but they’d talked it through and she SEEMED to understand! It had taken her a couple of weeks to tell him that she respected his pleasures, but that she couldn’t continue to see him in a sexually attractive way. She’d even hugged him and said that they’d remain friends! And he had believed her! The sex between them had always been explosive and she was an extremely uninhibited filly in the bedroom. He’d always thought it such a shame that she constantly nagged him about his communicative skills and that she found his penchant for Agent Provocateur a turn off. The fact remained though, that she was the ONLY person in the media world that knew about his secret and since her catapult into public eye with the Staying Single story he wasn’t so sure that he could trust her. He clicked to open the MSN menu to check whether his sexiest closest confidante was online.
Angela Johnson was.
Excellent.
If it wasn’t for her, he’d have NO idea that Sophie was planning to humiliate him on national television . It was just as well he had something on her to sling back. And, thanks to AJ, he was now going to be her 4th, and final, Sophie Dilemma date – which was to be filmed live. This would give him the perfect opportunity to embarrass Sophie live and online. That should lay to rest any wicked ideas she might have about mentioning the odd suspender belt or lycra mini skirt that he had tucked away in his secret drawer at home….
Chapter Fifty Eight
Chapter Sixty
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Chapter Fifty Eight - Agendas & Suspenders
Rob was feeling shit and angry. He hated to admit it, but he’d been naive in thinking that Sophie was genuine. If she’d been THAT genuine then why was she trying to stay single? She looked great and had a sparkling personality and had really wormed her way under his skin over the last few months. He wasn’t short of female admirers - he was a fit, good looking guy and saw lots of women that he liked the look of, a few that he’d meet in the pub that he’d chat with and would instigate an interest, but not enough to get involved with. The truth was, Rob hadn’t had a relationship for a couple of years. He’d been so busy building up his business and he knew that he wouldn’t be able to commit 100% because of that. He’d had his share of unfulfilling one-night stands and had always liked Sophie. In a way he could now see why she’d opted out of the dating game – he’d forgotten how painful it all was, how insecure it made him feel and how you could rush from high to severely low in a matter of seconds. It bothered him intensely that he’d begun to lose himself in Sophie’s kiss beneath that umbrella and how he’d been on the verge of telling her that he’d made the grand gesture of booking the log cabin. He’d worried that it might freak her out - that she’d think it was too much too quickly, but then he’d figured that they’d been good friends for a while now and that they’d manage it.
And then he sees her kissing Adrian Ford.
Getting angry once again he pondered over all the grey areas that he couldn't define - like how long she’d been seeing him?
Had it been since they’d first met?
And what about Tam and their friendship?
There was so much he wanted to say to her - to ask her and to tell too, but his stubbornness insisted on standing in his way with it’s arms folded.
Bah humbug - so much for the warmth of Christmas.
He dreaded the thoughts of yet another Christmas Eve out with the lads and getting drunk again.
He was SO ready for ‘something more’, if only she had been honest, and ready, for him....
*
Rob and Ade were at extremes. Whilst Rob felt alone and desperate, Ade was excited and on a high as he prepared for his ‘date’ with Sophie. It had been his idea to go to the outdoor ice rink at Kew Gardens - it was the perfect Christmas venue and it was impossible not to have some laughs. Without being witty, it was the ideal scenario for breaking the ice as it involved lots of touching and laughing as he imagined them wobbling about under the twinkling fairy lights. He used to be good at ice skating and had spent hours at the rink at Streatham in his teenage years, even being asked to join the under 16’s ice hockey team. He was confident that he had every capability of having lots of fun with Sophie and make her realise that they SHOULD be together. He’d been wishing that the rain would stay away as he wanted just one last chance to make her see how much he liked her. Determined to be fun and extremely hands-on, without being creepy, he’d prepared it all right down to the last detail. OK, those ’extras’ had cost him a small fortune, but he was certain that it would be worth it. He wanted this chance to put right all the wrongs – the Trev Malone wind up, the Geezer involvement in Sophie’s Staying Single quest, the many ways that he’d seemed flippant about the way he’d treated her. The first Sophie Dilemma date was his chance, possibly his last chance, to make a public display of how serious he was about a relationship with Sophie and he intended to pull out all of the stops.
*
Tam was pulling out all of the stops as she got stuck into the back of her wardrobe. She began to fear that if she delved any deeper she’d come across a giant lion and a half-man/half-goaty type thing, but it didn’t stop her. She was beginning to sort out some clothes for her long weekend in the log cabin and was chucking clothes onto her bed at a ferocious rate. Her frenzied excitement was escalating alarmingly, despite the slight niggle at not really knowing what clothes to pack. Would it be cold in Scotland? Would the log cabin be cold/double glazed/centrally heated? Looking back at the jumble of fabrics and colours made her realise how dowdy and scruffy she’d been lately. A pang of disgust punched her in the stomach as the true horror hit her. She’d let herself go, big time. No wonder Adrian had called it off with her. He’d have been a fool to stick around.
In the same way that Pete would have.
Been a fool.
She was stunned at the hoards of colourful and gorgeous clothes that she had here - clothes that she used to delight in wearing before she’d stolen Pete from his wife. Suddenly it all fell into place. She’d been flattered by Pete’s attention - it was strangely intensified by the knowledge that he was married - somehow made it MORE flattering that he liked her, despite having a wife at home. She couldn’t figure it out now, but it had struck a chord with her at the time. And so she’d gone from the wearing sexy, sassy clothes that had attracted him to her in the first place, to slipping into domestic doldrums of tracksuits and t-shirts.
There was time for this procrastination and that’s what she supposed Rob had been thinking, when he handed her the booking info for the Burnbank lodge. She needed to remember WHO she used to be. Sophie was a fantastic friend and knew her so well. She’d got it right when she’d said that to be happy with somebody you have to be happy with yourself first. Tamsin could see how she’d spent years going from man to man as if they were all the same person. Scooping up the mountain of clothes she dropped them clumsily into the tub chair in her bedroom. She was going to keep everything as simple as possible from now on. Pulling her favourite jeans from her wardrobe door she packed some of the chunky knitted jackets and her Timberland boots into her small holdall. She needed to spend some quality time with HERSELF and hoped that she’d have plenty of chances to enjoy walking through the Scottish forestry and beside the lake and remember WHO she was, and what she wanted to be. Rob had truly pulled an ace out of the hat with this one. It was the best Christmas present that she’d ever received.
Although she was more than a little curious as to why Rob had initially booked it for two people.
Perhaps he’d hoped to go with her and now couldn’t.
But she suspected that there was more to it than that.
But Rob? Have a girlfriend? He surely would have said something to her.
Then again, Tam realised, she’d been pretty much myopic lately when it came to her friends and family. And so 3 weeks before New Years Day Tamsin made her first new years resolution.
It was time to fall in love again.
But this time with herself.
*
In Los Angeles Sophie’s Mum was also preparing. Thrilled to be getting married in Orange County she’d just spent 10 minutes on the phone instructing the wedding planner to scrap the tasteful white and gold balloons and replace them with orange ones! Bobbie Jo had made her think of the ‘orange’ theme at her bachelorette party last week and she’d already asked for orange icing on the wedding cake and orange lights around the marquee. Snatching the phone up from the garden table she punched in Sophie’s number, secretly hoping that Jennifer would answer.
Sophie was a darling, but she was SO dry. Jennifer really was a girl after her own heart - knew how to party and how to really let her hair down.
*
Ben Scott loved Facebook. It was everything that MySpace was and more. The networking opportunites! The combing through media contacts ‘friends’ lists!
He was in heaven.
Apart from the stretched elastic strip that was beginning to cut into his bum cheek.
Chapter Fifty Seven
Chapter Fifty Nine
And then he sees her kissing Adrian Ford.
Getting angry once again he pondered over all the grey areas that he couldn't define - like how long she’d been seeing him?
Had it been since they’d first met?
And what about Tam and their friendship?
There was so much he wanted to say to her - to ask her and to tell too, but his stubbornness insisted on standing in his way with it’s arms folded.
Bah humbug - so much for the warmth of Christmas.
He dreaded the thoughts of yet another Christmas Eve out with the lads and getting drunk again.
He was SO ready for ‘something more’, if only she had been honest, and ready, for him....
*
Rob and Ade were at extremes. Whilst Rob felt alone and desperate, Ade was excited and on a high as he prepared for his ‘date’ with Sophie. It had been his idea to go to the outdoor ice rink at Kew Gardens - it was the perfect Christmas venue and it was impossible not to have some laughs. Without being witty, it was the ideal scenario for breaking the ice as it involved lots of touching and laughing as he imagined them wobbling about under the twinkling fairy lights. He used to be good at ice skating and had spent hours at the rink at Streatham in his teenage years, even being asked to join the under 16’s ice hockey team. He was confident that he had every capability of having lots of fun with Sophie and make her realise that they SHOULD be together. He’d been wishing that the rain would stay away as he wanted just one last chance to make her see how much he liked her. Determined to be fun and extremely hands-on, without being creepy, he’d prepared it all right down to the last detail. OK, those ’extras’ had cost him a small fortune, but he was certain that it would be worth it. He wanted this chance to put right all the wrongs – the Trev Malone wind up, the Geezer involvement in Sophie’s Staying Single quest, the many ways that he’d seemed flippant about the way he’d treated her. The first Sophie Dilemma date was his chance, possibly his last chance, to make a public display of how serious he was about a relationship with Sophie and he intended to pull out all of the stops.
*
Tam was pulling out all of the stops as she got stuck into the back of her wardrobe. She began to fear that if she delved any deeper she’d come across a giant lion and a half-man/half-goaty type thing, but it didn’t stop her. She was beginning to sort out some clothes for her long weekend in the log cabin and was chucking clothes onto her bed at a ferocious rate. Her frenzied excitement was escalating alarmingly, despite the slight niggle at not really knowing what clothes to pack. Would it be cold in Scotland? Would the log cabin be cold/double glazed/centrally heated? Looking back at the jumble of fabrics and colours made her realise how dowdy and scruffy she’d been lately. A pang of disgust punched her in the stomach as the true horror hit her. She’d let herself go, big time. No wonder Adrian had called it off with her. He’d have been a fool to stick around.
In the same way that Pete would have.
Been a fool.
She was stunned at the hoards of colourful and gorgeous clothes that she had here - clothes that she used to delight in wearing before she’d stolen Pete from his wife. Suddenly it all fell into place. She’d been flattered by Pete’s attention - it was strangely intensified by the knowledge that he was married - somehow made it MORE flattering that he liked her, despite having a wife at home. She couldn’t figure it out now, but it had struck a chord with her at the time. And so she’d gone from the wearing sexy, sassy clothes that had attracted him to her in the first place, to slipping into domestic doldrums of tracksuits and t-shirts.
There was time for this procrastination and that’s what she supposed Rob had been thinking, when he handed her the booking info for the Burnbank lodge. She needed to remember WHO she used to be. Sophie was a fantastic friend and knew her so well. She’d got it right when she’d said that to be happy with somebody you have to be happy with yourself first. Tamsin could see how she’d spent years going from man to man as if they were all the same person. Scooping up the mountain of clothes she dropped them clumsily into the tub chair in her bedroom. She was going to keep everything as simple as possible from now on. Pulling her favourite jeans from her wardrobe door she packed some of the chunky knitted jackets and her Timberland boots into her small holdall. She needed to spend some quality time with HERSELF and hoped that she’d have plenty of chances to enjoy walking through the Scottish forestry and beside the lake and remember WHO she was, and what she wanted to be. Rob had truly pulled an ace out of the hat with this one. It was the best Christmas present that she’d ever received.
Although she was more than a little curious as to why Rob had initially booked it for two people.
Perhaps he’d hoped to go with her and now couldn’t.
But she suspected that there was more to it than that.
But Rob? Have a girlfriend? He surely would have said something to her.
Then again, Tam realised, she’d been pretty much myopic lately when it came to her friends and family. And so 3 weeks before New Years Day Tamsin made her first new years resolution.
It was time to fall in love again.
But this time with herself.
*
In Los Angeles Sophie’s Mum was also preparing. Thrilled to be getting married in Orange County she’d just spent 10 minutes on the phone instructing the wedding planner to scrap the tasteful white and gold balloons and replace them with orange ones! Bobbie Jo had made her think of the ‘orange’ theme at her bachelorette party last week and she’d already asked for orange icing on the wedding cake and orange lights around the marquee. Snatching the phone up from the garden table she punched in Sophie’s number, secretly hoping that Jennifer would answer.
Sophie was a darling, but she was SO dry. Jennifer really was a girl after her own heart - knew how to party and how to really let her hair down.
*
Ben Scott loved Facebook. It was everything that MySpace was and more. The networking opportunites! The combing through media contacts ‘friends’ lists!
He was in heaven.
Apart from the stretched elastic strip that was beginning to cut into his bum cheek.
Chapter Fifty Seven
Chapter Fifty Nine
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